apparently in the bathroom.

I got contacts last week and to celebrate the world of 2 eyes (instead of 4) I picked up these hot non-prescript jobbies that I can wear, or scratch up or lose which appeals to the girl on the left (my inner hippie); OR not feel bad about at all since they didn’t even set me back a 10 spot-which the girl on the right (controlling cheapskate) adores.

Cheap sunglasses rock-for the one in the middle, me.

Yesterday Spouselet and I were at the local mall, having lunch before we headed to the Apple store.  There were two women sitting at a table next to us and one of them had an opinion about everything under the sun.  Most of it was how “those people” were ruining her life.

“Over 30% of MY Taxes go to support THOSE people and THEIR programs.”
“I wouldn’t mind helping the old and sick people, its the rest of THEM that I can’t stand taking my tax dollars.”
“Do you realize that because of THOSE people, my health care premiums are through the roof.  and I still have to pay to see a doctor, I have to pay to get medication, I have to pay….”
(you get the picture)

She had a lot opinions and not many solutions.

It made me so sad (and angry).  I kept thinking about all the families that Compassion International helps.  Or the families in areas that never will, in their lifetime have the opportunity to see a doctor, or have electricity, or sit in Panera Bread and (and excuse the use of the term but nothing works better than..) bitch about your incredibly miserable life.  I was also sad because I was reminded of a time when I would sit with one of my friends having lunch and I probably said many of the same things.  Hearing them come out of someoneelse’s mouth was bad enough, but to remember them coming out of your own.

OUCH.

I have made alot of changes in my life over the past year.  I am realizing the role that extreme stress can play on our levels of empathy and compassion.  When you are so busy you meet yourself coming AND going you do get so self focused that no one elses pain matters.  And the pain of other people DOES matter.

We were created for community.

We were created to help.

All of those things, all of that money, is only “mine” for a brief period of time.  I can not take it with me, I can only pass it on.  Wouldn’t it be better for all of us to pass on as much as we can to those who need it?  And not just the ones we THINK really need it, we may never know (or need to) their story.

My heart broke for all of the people that woman was tearing down with her anger.
My heart broke for her.
…and a little bit of my heart broke for her friend who did not say one word during the entire lunch.

As tears rolled down my face (how embarassing in the middle of the mall!) I realized that I am not that person anymore.
I pray that woman, one day, isn’t that person any more too.

*Placed in “The Girls” Category, because the girl on the right, is the one who refers to people as “Them” and the girl on the left is the one that “loves everybody”, Can’t we all just get along.  The one in the middle, she is just searching for a solution.

Yeah…
Yeah…
Yeah…

Everyone says it, “This year I am going to {insert whatever}!”

And they mean it.
And when I say, new year, new me.  I mean it too…but I am just talking about my Avatar and the image I use of myself around the internet.

I got to thinkin’ after my Facebook Star post, that the picture I am using is almost 3 years old.  And really, is 3 years a big deal?  Nah, but three years ago, I was in my 30’s.

Now, I am not.

I have also accepted my extra pounds and I don’t know when that happened, but I have a few pictures that I really like right now, so Heck, may as well use them.

Here were my choices:

Yeah, you geussed it.
I picked the one in the middle!

Tears cannot restore her —

therefore I weep.

In a New Hampshire cemetery.

I have mixed feelings about an obituary that ran in a California paper this past week.  If you haven’t seen Dolores Aguilar’s Obit… go read it.  I will wait.  Heck, read the comments, very interesting in their own right.  An’ it’s true! (I snope’d it ya’ll)

I am a bit torn-
Girl on the left (my free spirit-emotional side) is cheerin’ the family on for having the ovaries (and nad’s-depending on yer gender) to actually publish such an announcement.  She is hopin’ that such a declaration will give this family some peace-that is sounds like, they so desperately need.

Girl on the right (my b*tch in a business suit-the non emotional “facts only” side) thinks that this is a disgrace.  Apparently their mama didn’t raise them right if they are goin’ around talkin’ about this stuff in public-in the local paper no less.  “well, that is California-and obviously NOT the south!”

Then there is me-the author of this blog, The girl in the middle.  She  feels sad for Dolores and all her kids.  Not knowing the whole story really doesn’t matter.  No body’s mama is perfect (just ask my 13 yr old)-we have all done something to put our kids in therapy for years.  We have all had something done to us.  I know someone who still is bitter because his mama sold his Star Wars collection rather than pay to move it back over seas-25 years ago when they were still “new”.  (Ok granted, those puppies are now worth the price to move them over seas every week for the next 30 years…but that is beside the point).  And then other people who’s parents abandoned them-moved away-left them to be raised by (possibly) Dolores sister (on the evil scale)-yet they turned out fine-and can even tell amazing stories about the experience.

I can’t really say life is what you make it, because so many things are beyond our control…but maybe life IS what your attitude makes of it?  That mooshes in a ton of different factors-like your faith or lack of it.

I know that no matter the real story behind Dolores and her kids that the survivors need ALL of our prayers and compassion that they can work to make the rest of their days brighter.

What do you think?